Learning How To Laugh At Yourself Builds Your Self-Esteem, Separate "Who" You Are From "What" You Do

Studies reveal that 2 out of 3 people suffer from low self-esteem. If you are sitting at lunch with 2 of your friends, only one of you has healthy self-esteem. Who is it?

The answer may turn out to be a matter of perception. Our true beliefs and inner feelings of self-worth can be very different from those we reveal openly to others. Many of us are experts at displaying an outward appearance of confidence and self-acceptance, while feeling insecure or inadequate on the inside.

Accepting the Unchangeable

Learning How To Laugh At Yourself Builds Your Self-Esteem, Separate "Who" You Are From "What" You Do

All of us have some aspects of our physical features or personality that don't meet our approval. Jeanne Robertson, one of America's most loved and respected humorists, tells us, "We can never truly learn to laugh at ourselves until we learn to accept the things about ourselves that are either impossible or impractical to be changed."

These unique characteristics often have the potential to be funny, if viewed through humorous eyes. When we identify and accept our uniqueness, we are able to laugh about our idiosyncrasies or shortcomings. Easily said, but not so easily done.

Is something silently eroding your self-esteem?

David Granirer, PsychoTherapist/Stand-Up Comic, suggests a "contrary attitude" exercise for finding the humor in your life and using it to build self-esteem. You take something about yourself or your life that you consider negative, talk about how much you love it, and why you love it.

For example, I went through a period of misplacing my car keys. Instead of belittling my behavior, I remarked, "I don't mind frantically looking for my car keys. I love the challenge of a scavenger hunt, and the thrill of racing against the clock to be on time."

Separating "what you do" from "who you are" provides the distance you need to find the humor in your situation and Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personal). Our level of self-esteem is often associated with what we are capable of doing, or by our achievements. When we don't meet our own expectations, the negative self-talk we inflict upon ourselves results in lower self-esteem.

After my brain injury, the planning and preparation of meals was difficult and exhausting. The failed attempts were hard on my self-esteem. For years I felt like I was failing as a wife and mother, in the kitchen. Joking about my loss of cooking ability, helps me accept myself, just as I am.

"I used to be a good cook. Now, it's good if I cook!"

The ability to laugh at ourselves allows us the opportunity to embrace our flaws, and promotes self-acceptance. It does not include harmful putdowns, ridicule or negative sarcasm. Nor are we advertising that we are defective, rather we are demonstrating that we are human.

Humor is a positive coping mechanism that not only improves our mood, it builds our self-esteem. Unfortunately, we often resort to all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, smoking, eating, overworking, etc. to make ourselves feel good. While these habits offer temporary boosts, they further undermine our self-esteem.

"I may do stupid things, but I am not stupid!"

Remember, it's not just what you do that defines who you are. More over, it's how you handle what you do, that defines who you really are.

Learning How To Laugh At Yourself Builds Your Self-Esteem, Separate "Who" You Are From "What" You Do
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Lois McElravy, Lessons from Lois, works with individuals and organizations who want to learn how to effectively use humor, so they can handle the demands and pressures of work and home, maintain a flexible perspective, produce positive outcomes, and have more fun.

Learning to laugh and "hangin' on with humor" rescued Lois from the distress and despair surrounding her daily life, and initiated her recovery from a brain injury. Her universal message offers hope, motivates participants to be faithful to do the small things, and conquer their challenges one day at a time.

©2006 Lois McElravy, Lessons from Lois - This article was published in the July 2005 issue of Inside the Garden City - Permission to reprint or repost this article is granted by notifying Lois McElravy, and including her name and contact information in the article.

Contact Lois to speak at your next event: info@lessonsfromlois.com, (406)251.2887 http://www.lessonsfromlois.com

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Comic Books - The Silver Age (1950 to 1970's)

In the silver age of comic books, comic book companies took ordinary, though highly skilled, super heroes and placed them in rockets, visit alien worlds and fight for the good no matter what type of society there was.

The silver age of comic books lasted approximately from the late 1950's to the early 1970's and during this period, a few attributes of comic book characters started to develop.

It was during this time, that the most interesting developments was the incorporation of science fiction into the storylines. With science fiction at the helm, it was possible to inject a myriad of stories. The ability to stretch the known boundaries put a new spin on tales. In the silver age of comic books, Batman and Robin (who were not super powered) could be placed anywhere, literally anywhere, and they were not confined to earth.

Comic Books - The Silver Age (1950 to 1970's)

By placing our super heroes in an interplanetary situation, raises the issue that the target society in these other worlds clearly had good versus bad situation. In the silver age of comic books, they took human traits and manifested them in aliens who had special abilities that transcended humans and were perpetually war-like. It was necessary for there to be conflict in the new society, to provide reason for our super heroes to justify their existence.

By fusing science fiction into the comic book format, super heroes and villains could be transformed, or mutated, much more easily. Even the weapons in use could make even Superman pause.

It was during this era, that comic book publishers began to integrate more humanity into their characters. Initially, the super heroes were robotic in their mannerism and emotional appeal and their humanizing suggested a transformation had taken place. It took internalized personal melancholy to rise to the surface and manifest itself to create a more human character.

Aquaman, who was originally considered as a negligible super hero, was transformed during the silver age of comic books. Although Aquaman emerged in the golden age, it wasn't until the silver age of comic books that his ability to live outside of water and it was revealed that his arch nemesis was really his half brother, Ocean Master.

It is a general belief that the changes that took place in the Silver age comic books represented a modification that society dictated and achieved the alterations necessary to keep the comic book industry relevant in society.

Comic Books - The Silver Age (1950 to 1970's)
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Charly Leetham enjoys reading many types of novels. As a child though, she loved reading comic books. She is a little a disappointed by the "modern day" comic books that are available today and has written this article as a reminder of what comic books once were.

She also maintains a Comic Books [http://comicbooks.learntocentral.com] Website.

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Marvel Comic Books - A Reflection of Culture

Superheroes have always been popular among teenagers. Paper comic books were atop this wave of popularity before television shows, movies, or Internet threads about these superheroes were even available. Comic book fans revered these paperbacks as more than just stories. The comics actually delved into social, societal, and political thresholds, reflecting the state of the times they were released. Ever since first hitting the market, Marvel comic books have enjoyed a position at the top comic world. And, Marvel continues to be the biggest publisher of comics today.

Marvel's history goes as far back as October 1939 when Martin Goodman commissioned Lloyd Jacquet's company to publish the first comic book for Marvel. Incidentally, the book was entitled Marvel Comics #1. Marvel sold more than 80,000 copies of its inaugural issue. Seeing the success of its experiment with comics, especially the popularity of its first superhero Human Torch, Marvel introduced its second superhero-Captain America-in 1941.

World War II marked the end of what became known as the "Golden Age" of comic books. Marvel Comics responded to a precipitous decline in the popularity of superhero books, featuring characters such as Captain America, by introducing a new range of humorous books based around characters such as Super Rabbit.

Marvel Comic Books - A Reflection of Culture

However, the start of Vietnam War revived interest in comic superheroes. This forced Marvel into designing four new superheroes that teamed up as "The Fantastic Four" in the eponymous Marvel comic books. Marvel followed it up with other characters such as X-Men, Iron Man, Ant-Man, Hulk, and the immortalized Spider-Man. These characters are etched into the minds of generations of teenagers and continue to form the basis of several Hollywood blockbusters.

Marvel comics were educational as well as entertaining. Look at them closely and you should notice how they incorporated important issues into their story lines. Drug abuse is a good example of this. Because of this technique, many educators promoted these comics for student use.

Collectors pay a huge price for old comics, even millions of dollars for the rare issues in pristine condition. Ask your grandparents and parents if they have a fortune tucked in a drawer that contains the nostalgic stuff from their childhood. Even the government recognizes the immense influence of superhero comics on pop culture. In 2007, commemorative stamps featuring superhero comic characters were released.

Marvel Comic Books - A Reflection of Culture
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Laughter is the Best Medicine

“Laughter is the best Medicine”, it is a common saying we have heard for countless years. But is it true?

Medical research has shown the body responds well to humor, it helps us deal with illnesses, the pressures of day to day life; we cope better at work and will change the quality of our lives.

We laugh for different reasons, what I find humorous may not necessarily make you laugh. But whatever makes us laugh makes us feel good. And for a detectable health reason…

Laughter is the Best Medicine

•Laughter has been shown to reduce certain stress hormones, changes the flight-fright responses that occur in times of stress.

•Laughter boosts our immune system, lowers our blood pressure, and increases our oxygen levels.

•Laughter due to its’ physical nature gives us an overall body workout. So you can have fun, keep fit and stay healthy all in one easy step. Just laugh…

So we should laugh more, read comics, see funny or light-hearted movies, watch comedies on television etc. Whatever it takes just laugh and more fun.

John Kehoe said in one of his books ‘if you are not doing three fun things in a day, you are ageing quicker than you should’. Can you remember when you last did three fun things in a day or even a week?

A person I know has a job that isn’t overly interesting… you guessed it, he’s an Accountant. One of the things he does each day to bring a bit of fun into his job is to choose a word each day.

Now this word is not necessarily a normal word. It might be ‘Quasimodo’ for example. He then has to use this word in context in three conversations in his day without anybody suspecting. It doesn’t detract from his work but it makes it more fun for him. If you have a larger staff numbers, this can get very interesting and a great way to make the day go quicker and keeping the day light and fun filled.

But there are numerous things to do, both at work and at home to add laughter into our lives. Look at the number of web-sites that are dedicated to humor, many will send you a joke of the day, or a humorous quote etc. An email with a small laugh attached is a good way to start the day.

But make a point of seeing a funny movie, or hiring a DVD regularly to lighten the mood. Buy TV series that you find funny and watch them every now and then. But make it a habit; it is the habitual nature of things that bring us down. Changing bad habits to good will also raise the energy and laughter in our lives.

Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Life is fast paced, hectic and chaotic at times. Taking a break and having a laugh with friends or family is one of the best remedies you can have … go ahead just laugh.

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How to Be More Outgoing for the Naturally Shy Introverts in the World

Let's face it, it seems like people who are more outgoing have a lot more fun in life. They meet lots of interesting people, get invited to all the parties, don't have a problem getting dates, and overall just seem happier.

What to do if you're not outgoing? How can I become more outgoing and have more fun?

I was shy like many people. I grew up in the country, and went to school in the city. It wasn't easy meeting people. I was more excited to get back home and stick my nose in a book for the night. I wasn't naturally outgoing I was very shy.

How to Be More Outgoing for the Naturally Shy Introverts in the World

But, then something clicked. I just slowly started coming out of my shell. I started interacting with other people. I found my inner flirt. Twenty years later, I still feel like an introverted, shy person, but most other people would call me very outgoing. I actually got excited while giving a speech in front of 250 people. In fact, just last week my ten year old asked me, "How do you always make friends wherever you go, I never can meet people."

One of the first things you can do is develop eye contact. For many people, it's intimidating to look people in they eye. As soon as someone catches your eye, do you find yourself quickly looking away? Why not make a challenge to yourself, the next person you meet, I'm going to look at them straight in the eye, smile and count to three before I look away. You might have to try this a few times, but eventually you'll get the hang of it. Trust me it's worth it. Do this for a week, make a conscious effort to do it. (A hint if you're REALLY shy, don't try to do it to someone you find naturally attractive, instead do it with someone that you're not attracted to at all, it just seems less intimidating. I think it would be a blow to anyone's self esteem if they just couldn't hold eye contact with Angelina Jolie for three seconds.)

After you feel comfortable looking people in the eye, now it's time to say something. Just a simple "Hello", "Hi", "How's it going?" What you'll find is that people are starved for interaction as well. Often just a simple Hello can start a train reaction, and the next thing you know, you're twenty minutes into a deep conversation.

When you meet people for the first time, the golden rule is get their name. And if at all possible use it right away. It's pretty simple really. "Hi, I'm Marc, what's your name? Phil? Nice to meet you Phil." I usually lean forward, or have an inquisitive look as if I'm trying to confirm that their name really is Phil. Of course I'm kind of hard of hearing, so I really do have to ask at least twice. As Emeril would say, "Bam!" you've now used their name twice in ten seconds. You look like a genius in their eyes.

Now if you really want to get good at being outgoing, you have to get good at trivial conversations. The best thing I can tell you is 3-1. Not 31. But three parts them, one part you. If you engage them in conversation, and let them talk about themselves three times more than you talk about yourself, you're doing great. Check out Dale Carnegie's classic Book, "How to win friends and influence people". In 30 years, there hasn't been a better book written on the subject.

All in all, to become more outgoing, it just takes practice. I have a ten year old who is more like I was, very shy and introverted, and a four year old who meets everyone in the restaurant in about ten minutes flat, so I've seen both sides. If you're not naturally outgoing, it doesn't mean you can't become more outgoing and defeat your shyness. It just takes some practice, but trust me the practice is fun. You'll be glad you did it in no time.

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Alan Raimes is a dedicated father, and a comic in his own mind. For more information, and excellent resources on defeating shyness, visit his Be more outgoing resource center [http://www.gimmeananswer.com/howtobemoreoutgoing/] If you’re easily insulted or hate really bad jokes then don’t visit, as it can get a little corny in there. But, if you’re looking for more easy to use techniques to get rid of shyness and be more outgoing, come on by.

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Top 10 Best British Movies in the Last 10 Years

If you look at the last decade of British films you'll see the same names crop up again and again. Danny Boyle, Guy Ritchie, Neil Marshall... These British directors have battled the wind, rain, mud and general gloom of their tiny isle to nip and tuck the face of British cinema and influence movie-makers and goers on a global scale.

How has British film experienced a new renaissance? And why? It's not just about the funding. It's about ideas, and adding a fresh spin on old ideas. It's about looking at tired old genres with new eyes, and it's an approach to the blockbuster where Britain has helped push the boundaries. Let's look at some of those genres, then move onto the top ten British films in the last decade...

The new-wave gangster caper

Top 10 Best British Movies in the Last 10 Years

Do the gangsters of today have molls and leap on car sideboards? Sadly not - hence the rise of the British Cheeky Urban Gangster caper, as evinced by Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and several other mockney gangster movies... in fact, director Guy Ritchie created this new and commercially popular genre almost single-handedly. Attaguy.

The new-wave monster/horror movie

British directors Neil Marshall and Danny Boyle clearly grew up on a diet of comic books and late-night horror films, too much sugar and not enough vegetables. For which all movie-goers must be thankful. British monster films in the last ten years have been low on budget but high on cinematography, character acting and you've-just-GOT-to-tell-a-friend twists. Dog Soldiers, Severance, Creep, 28 Days Later (and the poor sequel, 28 Weeks Later)... These British films hit global cinemas with their innovative approach to tired old monster genres like werewolves and zombies. Speaking of which...

The Zom-Rom-Com

Yes, the zom-rom-com. Worth a mention all of its own, the zombie romance comedy is genre-splicing at its finest, and is entirely a recent British innovation. Nowadays the zom-rom-com is a film staple, with US-made Zombieland its most recent commercial success.

Let's take a look at some of those mainstream movies that put Britain back on the cinema-goer's map.

28 Days Later - 2002

Until 28 Days Later, zombies did what their master George A. Romero told them to do. Everyone knew a zombie walked slowly and craved brainnnnsss, because Dawn of the Dead said so.

Danny Boyle's film opened with an eerie and inspired scene promising something new - a loner in hospital scrubs, walking the empty streets of a wrecked and deserted London. There's something powerful in the image of a deserted city. The film ended with zombies who could have been you, or me, or your loved one - normal people but diseased - and fast. So terrifyingly fast. By updating the zombie format, this British monster film focused on what people are really scared of nowadays - disease, chaos, poverty and the unknown. And zombies who could outrun you. Suddenly the world woke up and realised there was more than one way to handle the zombie genre. After the success of 28 Days Later the zombie films followed thick and fast.

Dog Soldiers - 2002

Why should zombies get all the attention? Aren't werewolves fun too? Neil Marshall threw us a bone with this low-budget but fantastic-looking werewolf horror movie set in the gorgeous wilds of Scotland. Wait, you didn't know it was about werewolves? Forgive the spoiler - but the film was made eight years ago. To be fair, the film finishes with a delicious werewolf-related plot twist for those that don't yet know. What really made this film was the fantastic, gritty humour and interplay between the grizzled soldiers sent to investigate the disturbance, and the film was also helped by the moodily-shot atmosphere. A must for horror and action lovers - but one to avoid if you're not a fan of gore, however tasteful and considered the gore might be.

Shaun of the Dead - 2004

And here we have it... the zom-rom-com! A true love letter to Romero's Dawn of the Dead, with plenty of film nerd in-jokes. Shaun of the Dead made an international star of everyone's favourite ginger, Simon Pegg (Star Trek, Run Fat Boy Run). This film was witty, clever, charming, ridiculous... everything a zombie film has no right to be. Its bravery and humour made it a box office hit on both sides of the pond. A choice movie for anyone who likes zombies, romance, or comedy - and still a pretty safe bet for anyone who hates all the above. The ultimate in cross-genre success.

Children of Men - 2006

Children of Men. Was it sci-fi? Was it a drama? A thriller? An action movie? It was all of these things and none. Sci-fi haters considered it a beautiful and memorable film. Action movie lovers were thrilled by the powerful dust and rumble of the battle scenes. Everyone was moved by Michael Caine as a revolutionary old hippy, and the powerfully-handled concept of a pregnant woman in a near-future where fascists fight revolutionaries, refugee concentration camps abound and children are no more. Once again, the cinematography shone through to depict a beautiful, desolate rural England and a society torn apart by poverty and apocalyptic disease.

Casino Royale - 2006

It would be hard to list the top ten British movies of the last decade without namechecking Casino Royale - an entirely new cinematic makeover for England's favourite son, James Bond. Daniel Craig was an inspired choice - brutish, surly, violent and... blonde. And even naked on occasion. A world away from the suave James Bonds of the past, and more in keeping with the expectations of action movie goers of today. And what was more - M was a woman! Good heavens! Whatever next? Audiences flocked to see this revamped creation. Sadly, it currently looks like the James Bond franchise is winding down...

Son of Rambow - 2007

Imagine a long, semi-perfect English summer in the 1980s. It's only semi-perfect, because even on a long hot summer, being a young schoolboy is hormone hell. Two miss-matched boys are brought together to create their version of a Rambo sequel. They've only got a shabby old camera and a deserted wasteground, so their remake is by no means the big budget production of the original movie. But when the whole school joins in, and when the children start doing their own stunts, from kissing to explosions, this turns into a coming-of-age movie as iconic and classic and adult-friendly as Stand By Me, with a peculiarly bittersweet British slant.

Slumdog Millionaire - 2008

Danny Boyle is the darling of British cinema, constantly changing genres and finding new slants on old ideas which continue to satisfy an audience that demands so much more nowadays from its popcorn blockbuster movies. By 2008, Danny Boyle had a few worldwide film successes under his belt. There was Trainspotting, the black comedy where Ewan McGregor (Star Wars) made his name. There was 28 Days Later (zombie thriller, see above). There was also Sunshine, one of the few Danny Boyle films not to be considered as a top 10 best British film - an excellent but flawed atmospheric sci-fi thriller about some astronauts flying their ship into a dying sun to save the Earth.

In a total break from genre, Danny Boyle's next film, the Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire, took the world by storm. It's a rags to riches story of an 18 year old orphan on the slum streets of Mumbai, India, whose life is so peculiar that it miraculously provides him with the answers to the questions on the TV quiz "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" and earns him a fortune - and the attentions of the police. On paper, you might think this is a 'homework' movie - a movie you know you should see but feel is too earnest to be truly enjoyable. Cast your doubts aside. Feel-good without being sugar sweet, Slumdog Millionaire changed the lives of its actors (the young female lead was taken out of a Mumbai slum and given a wage, fame and an education to co-star). It will also probably change your perception of fate, poverty, slums, India and TV quiz shows.

Moon - 2009

Move over, Danny Boyle - isn't it time another British director got a crack at the whip? Moon is the debut movie by Duncan Jones - and it's won a BAFTA, another 17 film awards and countless nominations. Moon is the story of lone blue-collar astronaut Sam Bell who is struggling to stay sane as he reaches the end of his three year shift, desperate to return home to Earth, his wife and his daughter. As the movie tagline says, "250,000 miles from home, the hardest thing to face...is yourself". Moon is full of plot surprises, sterile moon beauty, impossibly fine acting from the leads (including Kevin Spacey as the computer), with a soundtrack to die for. Moon's not just a sci-fi film - it's a film about what it means to be human. And yes, it has some good gags in it. Nothing will prepare you for Moon... Except, possibly, 2001:A Space Odyssey. A must-see.

Sherlock Holmes - 2009

Sherlock Holmes is the latest offering from director Guy Ritchie, the ex Mrs. Madonna. Ritchie established himself as world-class with earlier successes like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (a love letter to the gangster caper, updated to a British East End setting for a modern audience).

A comedy action movie, Sherlock Holmes proves that when he's on form and not indulging himself, Guy Ritchie can produce the perfect action movie. The film benefits from inspired casting: Downey Jnr (Sherlock Holmes) and Jude Law (Doctor Watson) revisit and revamp the dynamics between the much-loved duo and are clearly having fun; in interviews the actors say they did indeed have a bromance, so well did they gel together as co-leads. Guy Ritchie's directorial quirks are put to fine use in the film, with jump-cuts and camera trickery adding to the meat of the plot rather than spoiling it. Lastly, the big budget is done justice with some great cinematography - if you want to see a thriving, foggy Victorian London and have no time machine, watching Sherlock Holmes is the best way to do it. One of the most enjoyable examples of a popcorn movie this decade.

Harry Brown - 2009

Director Daniel Barber is a relative newcomer on the British film scene. He's looked at the great American movies and dramas covering the grimy side of life (like the Wire) and thought - how can this be updated, to offer the same action, the same drama, the same thrill, the same grandness of scale - but from a uniquely British perspective?

Cue Harry Brown. What does the British public currently fear most? Chavs, probably - a derogatory name given to a poor and violent youth subculture. Harry Brown is a chav revenge fantasy - the story of an old war veteran on a British slum estate who sees the social destruction brought about to his community by chavs and decides to take matters into his own hands. British National Treasure Michael Caine takes the starring role and is a joy to watch as an old age pensioner who refuses to back down.

Most of these films received worldwide critical acclaim and packed cinema seats across the globe. You may have missed some of them the first time round - now's the chance to take a chance the next time you hire out a Blu-Ray or DVD.

Don't be put off by the British accents, because you won't be disappointed - you'll find yourself immersed by the lights, camera action of ten of the best British films this decade.

Top 10 Best British Movies in the Last 10 Years
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Madge Knight works for http://bestforfilm.com and you won't be suprised to hear she's a Girl Geek. Madge loves technology, computer games (even those with guns in) and movies from sci-fi and horror to romance. Madge knows her way around entertainment and the webby world today.

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